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Entry tags:
February [OTP3]
Title: Life Is the Bubbles
Fandom: Temeraire
Characters/Ship: Laurence/Tharkay, Laurence & Temeraire & Tharkay & Jane Roland
Word count: ~800 words
Summary: Modern-day AU with dragons, very cracky. Laurence has a habit of making the impossible a reality, which is probably why he's the one who discovers that merfolk are apparently real.
Notes: It looks like I forgot to post this here, and in the wake of the long day of DDoS attacks, I thought I should make sure my Dreamwidth xposting is up-to-date. The prompts were: valentine’s day | pollen/fear gas/truth serum | established relationship | “if i kiss you, will you shut up?” | different | mermaid au. I totally used some of them.
"I have been," said Tharkay, his voice frighteningly calm, "all over this monstrous, stupidity-infested, hell-hole of a planet." He considered pacing dramatically, but that seemed too English for him to tolerate in his present state of mind. He hated the English. Always stumbling around and causing problems and then not saying anything until those problems had become much larger problems of the sort that even a twenty-tonne dragon companion had difficulty handling, and all the while doing it while being distractingly handsome. Absolutely disgusting of him. Them. All of those English. "I have encountered horrors that would no doubt give even you and your battle-hardened soldiers new nightmares."
His audience nodded encouragingly, which was not the mood he was really trying to accomplish, here. Husbands, when receiving corrective lectures, should look mournful and ashamed. His incidental audience member, Admiral Roland—may she face endless bureaucracy for her crimes—was smirking at him from her seat next to Laurence.
"Do you know what I have never once encountered, despite all my travels and hardships, Will?" The man in question opened his mouth to respond, but Tharkay cut him off sharply. "Sex pollen. That is what I have never encountered, Will."
"It's a specialised aphrodisiac," said Laurence sullenly. His face was red, but not from embarrassment. He kept tugging at his collar as though itching to get out of his clothes.
"Aphrodisiacs don't work like this, Will," said Tharkay in faux patient tones. "Those I have encountered before. In many varieties, even."
Laurence frowned at him severely, and Tharkay raised his eyebrows to indicate that yes, there were many things about Tharkay's youth that Laurence still didn't know, and those things may very well include ill-advised uni parties with aphrodisiacs shooting from jets in the ceiling.
"Yes, I recalled that you had been involved in a number of drug smuggling cases during your time at interpol," said Roland, whose aromantic nature meant that she took no issue at all with cruelly trampling all over important cornerstones of relationships, like devastating misunderstandings caused by benign information presented out of context. "And I'm also curious, Will. How on earth did you manage to stumble upon this… 'specialised aphrodisiac'?"
Laurence cleared his throat unfortunately. "Well," he said, "as you know, I had been assigned to survey—"
"Yes, yes, yes, we know all about your deep-sea exploratory expedition." Roland waved a hand to hurry him on. "I was the one to assign you to the bloody thing, anyway. Don't tell me that you found sex pollen floating like seaweed on the surface of the Pacific?"
"No," admitted Laurence. "The merfolk gave it to me." At their expressions, he continued with, "It seems to have some cultural significance to them. I don't believe they quite expected—"
Roland laughed so hard she nearly choked. Tharkay helpful handed her a glass of water. He intended for her to live a long and miserable life buried under mountains of paperwork, after all.
"Will," said Tharkay evenly. "Perhaps I misheard. Did you encounter some new species of sea dragon?"
"No, these were more of the, er, Anderson variety," said Laurence.
Tharkay closed his eyes. Only Laurence could discover a thought-to-be-non-existent creature on the same voyage that he discovered a thought-to-be-non-existent sex pollen.
(Sex pollen!)
"And how many of the young maids turned into seafoam at the end of your visit?" Tharkay mused.
"None," said Laurence, offended.
"That you know of," added Jane gleefully.
"Temeraire returned after dropping me off here to continue negotiations," Laurence continued, ignoring her with all the dignity of a much-maligned cat. Tharkay wished he could say that Laurence had learned that from Temeraire, but it was more likely to be the other way around. Laurence paused, then added, "And they're not maids, anyway. Their genders seem completely unlike our own, and if they map onto their physiology in any particular way, I'm afraid I don't know how to tell."
"No seashell bikini tops?" asked Tharkay in a drawl, and Laurence scowled at him.
Roland rolled her shoulders and sat up. "I'll go and join Temeraire, then, I suppose, or who knows what kind of headlines we'll be facing tomorrow." She looked back at them, grinning. "You two kids have fun, now," she said, and then she swept out of the door.
They sat in silence for a moment, looking at one another. "Tenzing," said Laurence finally. "I thought—that is, I was hoping that you'd consider—"
Tharkay sighed. "Honestly, Will." He stood and held out a hand to help Laurence up. "We'll start with a bath, I think."
All absurdity aside, it ended up being a very pleasant evening. Perhaps Tharkay should send some suspicious greenish plant to the merfolk as a thank you.
Fandom: Temeraire
Characters/Ship: Laurence/Tharkay, Laurence & Temeraire & Tharkay & Jane Roland
Word count: ~800 words
Summary: Modern-day AU with dragons, very cracky. Laurence has a habit of making the impossible a reality, which is probably why he's the one who discovers that merfolk are apparently real.
Notes: It looks like I forgot to post this here, and in the wake of the long day of DDoS attacks, I thought I should make sure my Dreamwidth xposting is up-to-date. The prompts were: valentine’s day | pollen/fear gas/truth serum | established relationship | “if i kiss you, will you shut up?” | different | mermaid au. I totally used some of them.
"I have been," said Tharkay, his voice frighteningly calm, "all over this monstrous, stupidity-infested, hell-hole of a planet." He considered pacing dramatically, but that seemed too English for him to tolerate in his present state of mind. He hated the English. Always stumbling around and causing problems and then not saying anything until those problems had become much larger problems of the sort that even a twenty-tonne dragon companion had difficulty handling, and all the while doing it while being distractingly handsome. Absolutely disgusting of him. Them. All of those English. "I have encountered horrors that would no doubt give even you and your battle-hardened soldiers new nightmares."
His audience nodded encouragingly, which was not the mood he was really trying to accomplish, here. Husbands, when receiving corrective lectures, should look mournful and ashamed. His incidental audience member, Admiral Roland—may she face endless bureaucracy for her crimes—was smirking at him from her seat next to Laurence.
"Do you know what I have never once encountered, despite all my travels and hardships, Will?" The man in question opened his mouth to respond, but Tharkay cut him off sharply. "Sex pollen. That is what I have never encountered, Will."
"It's a specialised aphrodisiac," said Laurence sullenly. His face was red, but not from embarrassment. He kept tugging at his collar as though itching to get out of his clothes.
"Aphrodisiacs don't work like this, Will," said Tharkay in faux patient tones. "Those I have encountered before. In many varieties, even."
Laurence frowned at him severely, and Tharkay raised his eyebrows to indicate that yes, there were many things about Tharkay's youth that Laurence still didn't know, and those things may very well include ill-advised uni parties with aphrodisiacs shooting from jets in the ceiling.
"Yes, I recalled that you had been involved in a number of drug smuggling cases during your time at interpol," said Roland, whose aromantic nature meant that she took no issue at all with cruelly trampling all over important cornerstones of relationships, like devastating misunderstandings caused by benign information presented out of context. "And I'm also curious, Will. How on earth did you manage to stumble upon this… 'specialised aphrodisiac'?"
Laurence cleared his throat unfortunately. "Well," he said, "as you know, I had been assigned to survey—"
"Yes, yes, yes, we know all about your deep-sea exploratory expedition." Roland waved a hand to hurry him on. "I was the one to assign you to the bloody thing, anyway. Don't tell me that you found sex pollen floating like seaweed on the surface of the Pacific?"
"No," admitted Laurence. "The merfolk gave it to me." At their expressions, he continued with, "It seems to have some cultural significance to them. I don't believe they quite expected—"
Roland laughed so hard she nearly choked. Tharkay helpful handed her a glass of water. He intended for her to live a long and miserable life buried under mountains of paperwork, after all.
"Will," said Tharkay evenly. "Perhaps I misheard. Did you encounter some new species of sea dragon?"
"No, these were more of the, er, Anderson variety," said Laurence.
Tharkay closed his eyes. Only Laurence could discover a thought-to-be-non-existent creature on the same voyage that he discovered a thought-to-be-non-existent sex pollen.
(Sex pollen!)
"And how many of the young maids turned into seafoam at the end of your visit?" Tharkay mused.
"None," said Laurence, offended.
"That you know of," added Jane gleefully.
"Temeraire returned after dropping me off here to continue negotiations," Laurence continued, ignoring her with all the dignity of a much-maligned cat. Tharkay wished he could say that Laurence had learned that from Temeraire, but it was more likely to be the other way around. Laurence paused, then added, "And they're not maids, anyway. Their genders seem completely unlike our own, and if they map onto their physiology in any particular way, I'm afraid I don't know how to tell."
"No seashell bikini tops?" asked Tharkay in a drawl, and Laurence scowled at him.
Roland rolled her shoulders and sat up. "I'll go and join Temeraire, then, I suppose, or who knows what kind of headlines we'll be facing tomorrow." She looked back at them, grinning. "You two kids have fun, now," she said, and then she swept out of the door.
They sat in silence for a moment, looking at one another. "Tenzing," said Laurence finally. "I thought—that is, I was hoping that you'd consider—"
Tharkay sighed. "Honestly, Will." He stood and held out a hand to help Laurence up. "We'll start with a bath, I think."
All absurdity aside, it ended up being a very pleasant evening. Perhaps Tharkay should send some suspicious greenish plant to the merfolk as a thank you.